Coals for the Hookah

Overheard: People at a housewarming party discuss how to set up a hookah

Man 1: We light ‘em. We light ‘em and then you use the tongs to put ‘em on top of the... You guys’ve got tongs, right?
Man 2: Yeah
Man 1: OK so what we usually do is make a bowl. Put the, uh, foil then chop the holes in it.... And then you, uh, lay the cubes. You should use two of them. Put them on the burner. Then turn them once or twice until they’re all glowing all over, and then use the tongs to put them on the hookah!
Man 2: How many?
Man 1: Two! (pause) Yeah, and if you.... oh no, you’re not going to light ‘em with that. They have to sit on the burner for a while.
Man 2: On the burner!
Man 1: Yeah! They’re not the self-lighting charcoal. They’re made of, like coconut, so they get a really nice... taste to it and they go for a long time.
Man 2: And I put them ON my burner?
Man 1: Yes.... (pause) You will... have... some... dust to sweep up later.
Man 2: Hmm.
Man 1: Yeah, some dust’ll be left.
Woman 1: This kind of stove is actually better than the coils.
Man 2: Yeah.
Man 3: What do I do with these?
Man 1: Colton can actually help you with that situation. Colton is a very good hookah man.
Man 3: (To Colton) You wanna help me with the hookah?
Colton: Well let’s go downstairs and get started on the hookah
Woman: Is that the hookah?
Man 4: No that’s not the hookah, that’s an ice cream maker
Man 1: No the hookah’s downstairs.
Man 4: Ha ha, that’s a little cold for a hookah.
Woman 2: I need another shot.

Alien vs. Predator

Overheard:

Cole & Aedan commentate the end of Alien vs. Predator Requiem

C: It is the ultimate showdown with EVERYONE.

A: OMG look! Did you see that wiggling!?

A: They probably ate her babies.... scratch that... ate her babies and REPLACED HER BABIES!

C: I don't like these "praliens." I want either aliens OR predators.

A: WOAH! He took the turret off his arm and attached it to a handle he found in a military base and he made a LASER RIFLE. Predators are SMART!

C: Attacking people is basically how they make their living.

A: That guy's an ass.

C: Just a troop of rednecks.

C: He's dripping blood... not a good sign.

A: It's a full-on seige.

A: It's PRALIEN vs. Predator!

C: Wait - who just died, the pralien?

A: Score 1 for the aliens!

A: Why did that guy drop his gun?

C: Because he's fed up with all this.

A: He found the plasma rifle!

A: There's just an abundance of aliens. That's why they're so easy to kill.

A: It's sad that one of those praliens died.

C: He's not dead. He's RIGHT THERE.

A: You know, it's a common story... a lot of weak ones vs. a few strong ones. Like droids and jedis!

C: What if one alien and one predator were in a match?

A: Predator, for sure.

A: It's statistically probable that the aliens will win. But there are some small odds that the predator will win.

A: Why is everyone against the aliens?

C: Because they're trying to kill everyone.

A: That predator's pissed off now.

C: Well, there's only one pralien.

A: No, think about all the eggs that were laid in that woman.

A: It's totally gonna stick to the bottom of that helicopter. Aliens can do that.

C: They stick to the bottom of the ship in every movie.

A: The predator's taking of his mask for some reason!

A: Oh awesome! A predator and a pralien and they both have no armor!

A: Oooh, the pralien got his little mouth taken out.

C: Really? They didn't even fight! They just kind of ran.

(later)

A: I knew those two army people were gonna get together.